Community United Church of Christ  
 

"Treat other people as they ought to be, and you help them become what they are capable of becoming." ~ Goethe

"Your word is your power."

 

 

Compassionate Communication
Concise Guide to Conflict Resolution

Listen - Tell Truth - Listen Again - Agree

1. LISTEN

  • Give your full attention
    • Make eye contact
    • Face person, be still
  • Don't interrupt (use timer if needed)
  • Make no assumptions

 2. TELL YOUR TRUTH WITH COMPASSION

Your voice is your power. Use "I" statements:

  1. "I observe . . .  _____________________."
    – state observations
  2. "I feel . . .  _____________________."
    – state your feelings
  3. "I would like . . .  _____________________."
    1. State desire
    2. Give preference: "On a scale of 1-10, I would like this to happen 9, really a lot."

3. LISTEN AGAIN

  1. "Do you understand my request and is it okay with you?"
  2. Listen (see 1 above)
  3. Get to where you can honestly say "I hear you."

4. AGREE

  • Shake (or hug) on your agreement
  • Smile

 

 

GROUND RULES

  • Desire to bring out the best in each other.
  • Know that the other person wants the best for you, but may be hurt (and/or forgetful.)
  • Tell your truth with compassion.
  • Do not judge the other person.
  • No put-downs.
  • Treat people like your favorite painting – put them in their best light.
  • "I hear you" are the three most important words.

 

 
This page last updated September 8, 2005.
© Copyright 2007, Spicy Peach Productions.


  


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